Cyborgs, Kangaroos and Australians
Sept 7, 2022 10:26:38 GMT
Ernie and C̸̣̠̑̊ŗ̸̙̔͠u̵̗̾̾Z̴̗̺̿̀e̷̛͓͕̕ like this
Post by Aiden Reynolds on Sept 7, 2022 10:26:38 GMT
I’m scared, and aroused. Scareroused…
“I have no idea what is fuckin happenin in this house anymore.” He was whispering. Why was he whispering. Wait, why was he in a closet? Holding his phone? What the shit Aiden? “Nah mate, she’s, she’s like always upset!.” He reached forward, cracking thew door open just an inch to look out into the hallway. He hears a crackling noise, like some kind of wrapper being scrunched up. He pulled the door closed fast and pushed his back against the wall. “The hell ay mean “grow up”? Get over here Dickie, I need ya he-...oi…Dickie?...little shit hung up on me.”
Light, the light from above, the door pulled open. A shadow cast over Aiden, he swallowed and laughed to himself before flashing a small smile and pointing to the shadow.
“Hey ya…ya found me…you win..now you hide”
“Aiden…” Her voice was stern, her arms folded over her chest as her foot tapped. She looked frustrated, angry, even a little offended. Kallie Reznik, Aidens fiance, pregnant fiance, her long blond hair tied back as she tilted her head. “Why are you hiding from me?”
Aiden cleared his throat and stepped out of the closet to the bedroom floor, his hand reached to the back of his head scratching it lightly. “I’m not hidin, I was just, sittin, in there.”
“Why?”
Aiden sighed and slowly shrugged before closing the door behind him. “Look I was just talkin to Dickie, I needed to ask his advice ya know?” Aiden shot a kind smile at Kallie, trying to get across he was trying to be mindful of her feelings. Kallie swallowed hard and stepped back letting out a deep sigh. Her face slowly changing from frustrated and angry, scrunching up as she starts to cry, like, ugly cry. “Oh no no Kallie I-”
“You couldn’t talk to me?”
“It’s not that darl I…didn’t want to burden ya, you’re growin a kid it’s already stressful” Aiden slowly shrugs, Kallie wimpers and shakes her head as Aiden steps forward and wraps his arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “Look, ya have alot on your plate right now. A new job, being pregnant, dealin with me on a daily basis is hard to…so I thought maybe Dickie could deal with some of me annoyances…” She gave him a smile and a nod.
“I guess I can understand that.” He let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping as he felt a rush of relaxation and calm. Kallie whipped her nose on his shirt, yes he was wearing a shirt. Weird right? Kallie took a deep breath and smiled looking up at Aiden. “Uhm, I just remembered the reason I was looking for you.”
“Oh? Whats that love?”
She turned and started moving toward the bedroom door. “I need more pickle chips and pistachio ice cream” Aiden stopped and blinked a few times opening his mouth, realising this is a time he just needs to smile and nod following Kallie out into the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks again, empty pickle chip packets all over the bench, an empty tub of ice cream with a spoon in it sitting on the edge. “See?, I’m out.”
He cleared his throat and nods slowly. “I uh….I’ll get right on that….I’ll be back.” Kallie smiled and nodded sliding the keys toward him, AIden moved out into the hallway and moved to the elevator, he flicked through his phone and called Dickie again, this time, he picked up. “Oi, why did you hang up ya dickhead? Yeah Kallie was cryin and upset but… Look I’m going out to get Pickle chips and ice cream and I-....” He stepped into the elevator turning around, as the door shut Aiden sneered. “Why are ya laughin ya dick?”
Champion Vs Champion.
“Well, I don’t need to say I told ya so do I?”
Aiden stepped forward, the Wrestleverse title coming into view sitting on his shoulder, his bright blue eyes piercing through with his short brown hair spiked up. Aiden took the title from his shoulder and slowly put it down infront of him, sitting it up and facing it toward everyone who would be watching. Aiden couldn’t help but laugh, the title fell down, Aiden blinked, set it up again, it fell down again, he grumbled, reaching over and grabbing a full can of Bang Energy putting it behind the title.
“So, still champion eh? Still able to say I’m the best in this company. Now, I ain’t gonna lie, Amber Lee gave me a fight. A real fight, she has a future and I’m sure she will work her way up to face mer again, and I told you all before our match, I had respect for her. Respect that she would stand up and face me one on one and try and take the title from me. But, the dust settled and I was still champ.”
“Now, this business moves quick yeah? And things happen at a lightning speed. Just last month this company was in hype mode. The eyes were on Wrestleverse, the first show happened and I established myself as the best.”
“At the end of that night I was the biggest thing in the fuckin company.”
“But, unfortunately it’s not always the same, the next week I opened the show, the first defense of the title and, alright, I get it. Start the show off hot with a high stakes match that matters. Lets go. But, a few weeks later, we come to the third show in Wrestleverses run, and your champion versus champion match ain’t even marked as the main event.”
“Really?”
Aiden scoffed and looked over at the title, Dickie Watson, his tag team partner, manager, friend and hetrosexual life mate looked up from playing his nintendo switch, through his veil of shaggy brown hair and shook his head.
“Kinda bullshit bruh”
“I know right?...but I’m still not talkin to you…”
“Why?”
“You know what you did ya little shit…”
Dickie just chuckled and shrugged letting Aicden go back to his promo.
“Cruze and I are both on that high level. We both hold gold and we have both been wrestlin at a high standard. And the main event is a match to establish a contender. A CONTENDER. Over two champions dukin it out? Ya kiddin me? Look, I’m usually pretty easy goin ya know? I turn up, I do my job, I boring the entertainment and make people laugh, I am generally a fuckin fun guy…in fact I’m such a fun guy ya should call me shiitake.”
“Shitake?”
“Yeah mate..mushroom.”
The joke hits Dickie and he can’t help but roll his eyes. And groan, audibly.
“Look I have to get dad joke practice. But the fact remains, both me and tommy turbo Cruze deserve better. And I’m goin to prove it. See I don’t have anything against Cruze, I don’t know him personally, I ain’t said more than two words to him aside from this promo. He could hate me guts, he could have called me a complete wanker fuckwit, I dunno, I don’t care…what I care about is goin out there and havin a great match, and I get to do it against someone who isn’t a goddamn six foot tall mursder rat.”
“A murder rat?”
“Oi, yeah they signed a Kangaroo…A KANGAROO DICKIE, I mean I’ve heard of cultural misappropriation but this is a bloody joke.”
“I mean…it’s on brand for this place, even your opponent this week is a cyborg..”
Aiden blinks a few times “Sorry…come again?”
“A cyborg? Cruze's legs? His knees? They’re titanium…”
“He what?”
“CHRIST AIDEN…don’t you ever actually research your opponents?”
Aiden shrugs again and half nods.
“I mean, I do mate, I look at matches and match records, sometimes watch promos but I’ve been a little busy, with movin and Kallie and…so wait…hold on, back up, I’m facin a bloke with MAGIC LEGS?....I’M FACIN LT DAN?...This is awesome…LT DAN AND HIS MAGIC LEGS!...I gotta tell Kallie…”
Aiden turned and walked off toward the bedroom, he stopped and then slowly reached over in front of Dickie grabbing the wrestleverse title and the can of bang.
“Well…I guess it fits…he is like forrest gump…”
“I have no idea what is fuckin happenin in this house anymore.” He was whispering. Why was he whispering. Wait, why was he in a closet? Holding his phone? What the shit Aiden? “Nah mate, she’s, she’s like always upset!.” He reached forward, cracking thew door open just an inch to look out into the hallway. He hears a crackling noise, like some kind of wrapper being scrunched up. He pulled the door closed fast and pushed his back against the wall. “The hell ay mean “grow up”? Get over here Dickie, I need ya he-...oi…Dickie?...little shit hung up on me.”
Light, the light from above, the door pulled open. A shadow cast over Aiden, he swallowed and laughed to himself before flashing a small smile and pointing to the shadow.
“Hey ya…ya found me…you win..now you hide”
“Aiden…” Her voice was stern, her arms folded over her chest as her foot tapped. She looked frustrated, angry, even a little offended. Kallie Reznik, Aidens fiance, pregnant fiance, her long blond hair tied back as she tilted her head. “Why are you hiding from me?”
Aiden cleared his throat and stepped out of the closet to the bedroom floor, his hand reached to the back of his head scratching it lightly. “I’m not hidin, I was just, sittin, in there.”
“Why?”
Aiden sighed and slowly shrugged before closing the door behind him. “Look I was just talkin to Dickie, I needed to ask his advice ya know?” Aiden shot a kind smile at Kallie, trying to get across he was trying to be mindful of her feelings. Kallie swallowed hard and stepped back letting out a deep sigh. Her face slowly changing from frustrated and angry, scrunching up as she starts to cry, like, ugly cry. “Oh no no Kallie I-”
“You couldn’t talk to me?”
“It’s not that darl I…didn’t want to burden ya, you’re growin a kid it’s already stressful” Aiden slowly shrugs, Kallie wimpers and shakes her head as Aiden steps forward and wraps his arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “Look, ya have alot on your plate right now. A new job, being pregnant, dealin with me on a daily basis is hard to…so I thought maybe Dickie could deal with some of me annoyances…” She gave him a smile and a nod.
“I guess I can understand that.” He let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping as he felt a rush of relaxation and calm. Kallie whipped her nose on his shirt, yes he was wearing a shirt. Weird right? Kallie took a deep breath and smiled looking up at Aiden. “Uhm, I just remembered the reason I was looking for you.”
“Oh? Whats that love?”
She turned and started moving toward the bedroom door. “I need more pickle chips and pistachio ice cream” Aiden stopped and blinked a few times opening his mouth, realising this is a time he just needs to smile and nod following Kallie out into the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks again, empty pickle chip packets all over the bench, an empty tub of ice cream with a spoon in it sitting on the edge. “See?, I’m out.”
He cleared his throat and nods slowly. “I uh….I’ll get right on that….I’ll be back.” Kallie smiled and nodded sliding the keys toward him, AIden moved out into the hallway and moved to the elevator, he flicked through his phone and called Dickie again, this time, he picked up. “Oi, why did you hang up ya dickhead? Yeah Kallie was cryin and upset but… Look I’m going out to get Pickle chips and ice cream and I-....” He stepped into the elevator turning around, as the door shut Aiden sneered. “Why are ya laughin ya dick?”
Champion Vs Champion.
“Well, I don’t need to say I told ya so do I?”
Aiden stepped forward, the Wrestleverse title coming into view sitting on his shoulder, his bright blue eyes piercing through with his short brown hair spiked up. Aiden took the title from his shoulder and slowly put it down infront of him, sitting it up and facing it toward everyone who would be watching. Aiden couldn’t help but laugh, the title fell down, Aiden blinked, set it up again, it fell down again, he grumbled, reaching over and grabbing a full can of Bang Energy putting it behind the title.
“So, still champion eh? Still able to say I’m the best in this company. Now, I ain’t gonna lie, Amber Lee gave me a fight. A real fight, she has a future and I’m sure she will work her way up to face mer again, and I told you all before our match, I had respect for her. Respect that she would stand up and face me one on one and try and take the title from me. But, the dust settled and I was still champ.”
“Now, this business moves quick yeah? And things happen at a lightning speed. Just last month this company was in hype mode. The eyes were on Wrestleverse, the first show happened and I established myself as the best.”
“At the end of that night I was the biggest thing in the fuckin company.”
“But, unfortunately it’s not always the same, the next week I opened the show, the first defense of the title and, alright, I get it. Start the show off hot with a high stakes match that matters. Lets go. But, a few weeks later, we come to the third show in Wrestleverses run, and your champion versus champion match ain’t even marked as the main event.”
“Really?”
Aiden scoffed and looked over at the title, Dickie Watson, his tag team partner, manager, friend and hetrosexual life mate looked up from playing his nintendo switch, through his veil of shaggy brown hair and shook his head.
“Kinda bullshit bruh”
“I know right?...but I’m still not talkin to you…”
“Why?”
“You know what you did ya little shit…”
Dickie just chuckled and shrugged letting Aicden go back to his promo.
“Cruze and I are both on that high level. We both hold gold and we have both been wrestlin at a high standard. And the main event is a match to establish a contender. A CONTENDER. Over two champions dukin it out? Ya kiddin me? Look, I’m usually pretty easy goin ya know? I turn up, I do my job, I boring the entertainment and make people laugh, I am generally a fuckin fun guy…in fact I’m such a fun guy ya should call me shiitake.”
“Shitake?”
“Yeah mate..mushroom.”
The joke hits Dickie and he can’t help but roll his eyes. And groan, audibly.
“Look I have to get dad joke practice. But the fact remains, both me and tommy turbo Cruze deserve better. And I’m goin to prove it. See I don’t have anything against Cruze, I don’t know him personally, I ain’t said more than two words to him aside from this promo. He could hate me guts, he could have called me a complete wanker fuckwit, I dunno, I don’t care…what I care about is goin out there and havin a great match, and I get to do it against someone who isn’t a goddamn six foot tall mursder rat.”
“A murder rat?”
“Oi, yeah they signed a Kangaroo…A KANGAROO DICKIE, I mean I’ve heard of cultural misappropriation but this is a bloody joke.”
“I mean…it’s on brand for this place, even your opponent this week is a cyborg..”
Aiden blinks a few times “Sorry…come again?”
“A cyborg? Cruze's legs? His knees? They’re titanium…”
“He what?”
“CHRIST AIDEN…don’t you ever actually research your opponents?”
Aiden shrugs again and half nods.
“I mean, I do mate, I look at matches and match records, sometimes watch promos but I’ve been a little busy, with movin and Kallie and…so wait…hold on, back up, I’m facin a bloke with MAGIC LEGS?....I’M FACIN LT DAN?...This is awesome…LT DAN AND HIS MAGIC LEGS!...I gotta tell Kallie…”
Aiden turned and walked off toward the bedroom, he stopped and then slowly reached over in front of Dickie grabbing the wrestleverse title and the can of bang.
“Well…I guess it fits…he is like forrest gump…”
