Dose of Truth Podcast Episode #001 - 2022/16/10 (TRANSCRIPT)
Oct 16, 2022 19:45:33 GMT
Ernie and C̸̣̠̑̊ŗ̸̙̔͠u̵̗̾̾Z̴̗̺̿̀e̷̛͓͕̕ like this
Post by Raven's Truth on Oct 16, 2022 19:45:33 GMT
[Audio: 'A Few Good Men': 'You want the Truth? You can´t HANDLE the Truth!']
[Audio: Entombed – 'To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth' (snippet)]
[Male voice – raspy, clearly in poor condition]
'Hello, Truth Seekers, and welcome to the Dose of Truth podcast, where we dish out the Truth, one Dose at a time! I am your host, John Truth, the man WITH the truth, and lemme tell ya, right off the bat – if you thought Alex Jones and Joe Rogan talked straight facts, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
Before we go any further, disclaimer, the thoughts expressed here are my own, straight from the Mind of J, yadda yadda yadda, let's get on with this shit! I waited ten goddamn years to be able to speak, and I had enough bullshit legal talk back then to last me a goddamn lifetime. So let's cut the crap and get to the point - I'm here, I'm clear, and this time, Superbitch isn't here to write some little report about how I'm a RAVING GODDAMN LUNATIC and 'recommend' that I get shut me away in some hellhole so They can have their way with me. So if you're listening to this, you goddamn fuckin' hypocrite, IN YOUR FACE! You may have got the kid and the dog and the house and shit, but guess what? I have my FREEDOM OF SPEECH back! And I'm sure as fuck about to use it!
In fact, I'm not just gonna speak – I'm gonna back my shit up with actions. I'm gonna talk the talk and walk the walk – and I'm gonna do it starting this Friday. And now I hear you asking: [the voice changes to a high, mock-feminine pitch] 'John, how you gonna do that?' Well...I'm gonna fuckin' wrestle, that's fuckin' how. I signed for this placed called Wrestleverse. So if you like hearing me kick ass on the mic, tune in and watch me kick ass in the ring, as well.
And now I hear you asking again...[in the same high-pitched tone] 'John, why wrestling?' Well, first of all, a guy's gotta make a living, and that's all I know how to do – only job that never fuckin' fired me for speaking my mind. Second of all, the only guy I can trust is there, and he invited me in; I wasn't about to say no. Last but not least, FUCK YOU, that's why. So, yeah, when Hop sent me word that his new group was hiring, I was on that shit like fuckin' Marilyn at JFK's birthday party.
Don't get me wrong, though – I don't trust these motherfuckers as far as I can throw 'em. No way in Hell I'm going in that place on Friday without my anti-radiation hat and my Truth Decoder; I ain't about to let THEM abduct me, or mind-control me. In fact, I ain't even set foot in that place yet, and they're already trying to fuck me over; 'stead of Hop, they're making me work with some kid who looks like a high school sophomore, who I've never seen in my goddamn life, who's working for Them for all I know, against some clown tag team of a goddamn Tekken cosplayer and some sucker who can't even fight, in a goddamn booby trap match. Booby trap, get it? 'Cause They're trying to make me look like a joke and a pervert! Probably gonna try and slap me with some bullshit suspension for soliciting a minor, or some shit, and 'conveniently' disregard the fact that THEY put me with her in the FIRST GODDAMN PLACE! Sounds just like the kind of shit They'd try to pull. They can't fool old John, though; no, siree. I'm ONTO your shit, motherfuckers!
And as for you, Kayley, Bayley, whatever your name is...stay the hell outta my way. I don't fucking trust you. I don't fucking KNOW you, so I don't fucking trust you. You probably don't trust me either, which is good, shows you're smart; to be honest, though, I don't give a flying fuck. I only care about what one guy thinks, and that guy's name is Max Hopper. And last I checked, you're neither a guy nor Hop. So fuck off back to high school and let the grown-up deal with this bullshit.
As for you two other clowns...I don't know if I should be flattered or pissed that your bosses are sending the goddamn Goon Squad after me, but either way, you better hope the goddamn booby traps work, 'cause that's the only way I'm going down on Friday. Otherwise, you two Bebop and Rocksteady motherfuckers are gonna find out what a Dose of Truth feels like. And you know what they say...Truth Hurts.
Anyway, I'm getting tired of talking, and there's a six-pack in the fridge with my name on it, so I'm gonna go drink it. Catch you fuckers on the flipside. Until then, remember to stay safe, question EVERYTHING, and most importantly...TRUST NO ONE.
John Truth, over and out.
[Audio: X-Files Theme (snippet)]
[End Transmission]
[Audio: Entombed – 'To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth' (snippet)]
[Male voice – raspy, clearly in poor condition]
'Hello, Truth Seekers, and welcome to the Dose of Truth podcast, where we dish out the Truth, one Dose at a time! I am your host, John Truth, the man WITH the truth, and lemme tell ya, right off the bat – if you thought Alex Jones and Joe Rogan talked straight facts, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
Before we go any further, disclaimer, the thoughts expressed here are my own, straight from the Mind of J, yadda yadda yadda, let's get on with this shit! I waited ten goddamn years to be able to speak, and I had enough bullshit legal talk back then to last me a goddamn lifetime. So let's cut the crap and get to the point - I'm here, I'm clear, and this time, Superbitch isn't here to write some little report about how I'm a RAVING GODDAMN LUNATIC and 'recommend' that I get shut me away in some hellhole so They can have their way with me. So if you're listening to this, you goddamn fuckin' hypocrite, IN YOUR FACE! You may have got the kid and the dog and the house and shit, but guess what? I have my FREEDOM OF SPEECH back! And I'm sure as fuck about to use it!
In fact, I'm not just gonna speak – I'm gonna back my shit up with actions. I'm gonna talk the talk and walk the walk – and I'm gonna do it starting this Friday. And now I hear you asking: [the voice changes to a high, mock-feminine pitch] 'John, how you gonna do that?' Well...I'm gonna fuckin' wrestle, that's fuckin' how. I signed for this placed called Wrestleverse. So if you like hearing me kick ass on the mic, tune in and watch me kick ass in the ring, as well.
And now I hear you asking again...[in the same high-pitched tone] 'John, why wrestling?' Well, first of all, a guy's gotta make a living, and that's all I know how to do – only job that never fuckin' fired me for speaking my mind. Second of all, the only guy I can trust is there, and he invited me in; I wasn't about to say no. Last but not least, FUCK YOU, that's why. So, yeah, when Hop sent me word that his new group was hiring, I was on that shit like fuckin' Marilyn at JFK's birthday party.
Don't get me wrong, though – I don't trust these motherfuckers as far as I can throw 'em. No way in Hell I'm going in that place on Friday without my anti-radiation hat and my Truth Decoder; I ain't about to let THEM abduct me, or mind-control me. In fact, I ain't even set foot in that place yet, and they're already trying to fuck me over; 'stead of Hop, they're making me work with some kid who looks like a high school sophomore, who I've never seen in my goddamn life, who's working for Them for all I know, against some clown tag team of a goddamn Tekken cosplayer and some sucker who can't even fight, in a goddamn booby trap match. Booby trap, get it? 'Cause They're trying to make me look like a joke and a pervert! Probably gonna try and slap me with some bullshit suspension for soliciting a minor, or some shit, and 'conveniently' disregard the fact that THEY put me with her in the FIRST GODDAMN PLACE! Sounds just like the kind of shit They'd try to pull. They can't fool old John, though; no, siree. I'm ONTO your shit, motherfuckers!
And as for you, Kayley, Bayley, whatever your name is...stay the hell outta my way. I don't fucking trust you. I don't fucking KNOW you, so I don't fucking trust you. You probably don't trust me either, which is good, shows you're smart; to be honest, though, I don't give a flying fuck. I only care about what one guy thinks, and that guy's name is Max Hopper. And last I checked, you're neither a guy nor Hop. So fuck off back to high school and let the grown-up deal with this bullshit.
As for you two other clowns...I don't know if I should be flattered or pissed that your bosses are sending the goddamn Goon Squad after me, but either way, you better hope the goddamn booby traps work, 'cause that's the only way I'm going down on Friday. Otherwise, you two Bebop and Rocksteady motherfuckers are gonna find out what a Dose of Truth feels like. And you know what they say...Truth Hurts.
Anyway, I'm getting tired of talking, and there's a six-pack in the fridge with my name on it, so I'm gonna go drink it. Catch you fuckers on the flipside. Until then, remember to stay safe, question EVERYTHING, and most importantly...TRUST NO ONE.
John Truth, over and out.
[Audio: X-Files Theme (snippet)]
[End Transmission]
FINAL WORD COUNT: 850