Wrestleverse: Eternal #2

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Opening Segment

---

"If I could find the words, if I could shake the world, if I could turn back time, Would you still be there?"

Of mice and mens "Would you still be there?" hits as Aiden Reynolds steps out from the back, the Wrestlewverse world tirle over his shoulder, flanked by Dickie Watson his tag team partner in the Commonwealth and for Wrestleverse purposes, his manager. And Lachlan Kane and KERBEROS on either side of them.All four men make their way down to the ring dressed in jeans and Wolfslair t shirts. They all make their way into the ring and Dickie walks over taking a microphone and tossing it to Aiden who catches it as his music dies down.

Aiden Reynolds: Well, I've been asked to come out here and address you all...maybe have a little talk about how it feels to be the first Wrestleverse champion, an the truth is that I don't really have much planned for this...see I ain't really a plan type of guy...

Dickie, who is standing behind him nods and laughs to himself. Aiden paces around adjusting the title over his shoulder.

Aiden Reynolds: I think, to be honest that the feeling of winning the title was only made better by the fact that match was a mission statement from me azn the boys here. See, Lachlan, Kerby and I, we are all from Wolfslair, one of the best gyms in the wrestling world. And we were the final three in that match. So after we eliminated everyone else, it was a forgone conclusion that this title was comin to wolfslair. And we were gonna control Wrestleverse and be the top of the top...

He lowers the mic as Lachlan nods and claps, Dickie smiles and Kerberos seems...to be mentally checked out.

Aiden Reynolds: But, what does the future hold for the Wrestleverse title? Well it's simple really, Danny Powers and the decision makers here are gonna find someone to face me, someone who hopefully earns their shot, someone who will be a challenge. Cause I am not the type of guy to sit back and rest on my laurels. So, if any of you in the back think you deserve a shot at me and at this title...go talk to Danny, plead your case...and I will see you all in this ring...

Aiden tosses the mic to ringside, Would you still be there hitting again as he and the rest of Wolfslair move from the ring and back up the ramp

Hannibal Buress: Wow! Big open challenge issues by the Wrestleverse Champ!

Naida West: With PPV in two weeks, Hell of a way to kick off the show tonight!

Hannibal Buress: We’ll see who Danny finds!

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Surprise Prize Match

Quinn Castillo vs. Sam Voxx vs. Axis

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Dunklin Frewbly: The opening match is a SPECIAL SURPRISE PRIZE TRIPLE THREAT MATCH and is scheduled for

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Dunklin Frewbly: Introducing first, already in the ring, from Dallas,Texas by way of Shreveport, Loooouuuuisiana, weighing 245 pounds, AXIS!!!

Naida West: Axis has taken an issue with CruZe ever since before Eternal #1. He really wants a one-on-one match with him bad, and CruZe has accepted one for the next show!

Hannibal Buress: What a great opportunity that could be for Axis, if CruZe walks out of the main event tonight as the Eternal Champion, but I have a feeling it's gonna end with Axis having to join the XBI.

Naida West: We'll see. Axis is no slouch. I think he could take CruZe!

Hannibal Buress: Psh! With those cyborg legs?

“Gasoline” by Audioslave cues up.

Dunklin Frewbly: And introducing next, from Hyannis, MA, weighing 255 pounds, QUINN "Cast Iron" CASTILLO!!!

Hannibal Buress: Quinn Castillo managed to eliminate two people from the Battle Royal to crown the WrestleVerse Champion, and it took the rest of the field to eliminate him. He might be the favorite here tonight.

Naida West: True, Hannibal, but this isn't over-the-top elimination. It's pinfall or submission, and he's in there with a couple of tough competitors.

Quinn comes out from behind the curtain and walks to the ring with no theatrics. He pulls himself onto the apron by grabbing the second rope. Ducking inside, he immediately goes to his corner where he removes his vest and lets it drop outside, and waits.

Dunklin Frewbly: And finally…

The lights in the restaurant go dark as a red hue illuminates as the intro to "Evil Witch" plays.

"She's a Wicked Girl

Loves to get inside your skin

To manipulate your will

She'll consume you to the bones"

Dunklin Frewbly: From the Lost Forest, weighing 110 pounds, "The Fae of the Ring" SAMANTHA VOXX!!!

As the driving beat plays, Samantha Voxx appears walking in a sultry manner toward the ring.

Hannibal Buress: And here comes the witch!

Naida West: Well, Quinn Castillo certainly believes she is. He's clutching at his protective charm already.

"She's an Evil witch

And you will be her bitch

She will make you

Suffer like no other, and you'll be cursed til the end of your days"

Hannibal Buress: He'll need more than Lucky Charms™ to protect him. Voxx has talent, too!

Samantha slides in the ring and bangs her head a bit before raising her arms up and the lights come up.

Tim Jansen calls for the bell.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Naida West: There's the opening bell -

Hannibal Buress: Brought to you by Taco Bell.

Naida West: Yes, brought to you by Taco Bell -

Hannibal Buress: And Pizza Hut.

Naida West: And Pizza Hut. And Quinn Castillo is backing away from Samantha Voxx. He's a little skittish and unsure about mixing it up with a witch.

Hannibal Buress: Well I don't blame him.

Samantha Voxx really plays up the witch card and chases Quinn Castillo around the ring.

Naida West: Roadrunner out of nowhere! Axis saw an opening and clobbered Samantha Voxx with that Superman punch of his.

Hannibal Buress: Smart move.

Naida West: Now the cover.

1!

Naida West: But Castillo peels him off of her to break up the pin.

Hannibal Buress: You have to remember that third person in these triple threat matches.

Naida West: Castillo with a cover of his own now.

1!

Naida West: And Axis pulls him off. Axis and Castillo are arguing now in the middle of the ring.

Hannibal Buress: Smart move by Samantha Voxx to use this opportunity to take a breather on the outside.

Naida West: Axis with a jab, and another.

That's as far as Axis gets before "Cast Iron" Castillo grabs him and whips him into the ropes.

Hannibal Buress: Ooh! Samantha Voxx pulls down the top rope, and Axis spills to the outside.

Axis lands on his feet, but he's still dazed.

Naida West: Voxx is back into the ring now, and she goes into the ropes on the opposite side looking for a big head of steam…

Hannibal Buress: Mystical Presence!

Naida West: She just planted Axis with that suicide dive DDT right onto the floor!

Samantha Voxx takes a minute to admire her handiwork before climbing back into the ring. As soon as she is back in, Quinn Castillo kicks her right in the face with a Big Boot!

Hannibal Buress: Well one of the preferred ways to kill a witch is a beheading, and Castillo nearly did that right there.

Naida Buress: Castillo picks her up…

Quinn Castillo gets in behind Samantha Voxx and takes her down with a sidewinder suplex.

Naida and Buress both: Cast Aside!

Naida West: Cover by Castillo.

1!

2!

Naida West: Kick out by Voxx.

Hannibal Buress: He nearly had her there.

Naida West: Castillo stays on the attack and sends her for a ride into the ropes… Big scoop powerslam by the big man!

1!

2!

Voxx kicks out!

Hannibal Buress: Another near fall for Castillo as he has taken control of this match.

Naida West: Castillo is measuring her up… And Axis comes out of nowhere with a spear!

Hannibal Buress: That should be billed as his hometown. It's better than Dallas or Shreveport.

Naida West: Behave, Hannibal! We have lots of great fans in both of those cities.

Hannibal Buress: Just do your job and call the match, Naida. Axis takes the witch up top… Face Slam!

Naida West: He planted her with that front suplex off the top rope. He could have it right here.

1!

2!

Quinn Castillo tries to break up the pin with a stomp, but Axis rolls out of the way.

Naida West: Castillo tried to break up the pin, but Axis saw him coming, and Castillo got Voxx, instead!

Hannibal Buress: I don't think he's too bothered by it.

Naida West: Axis has Castillo now and puts him on the mat with a suplex. Did you hear that landing!

Hannibal Buress: I sure did, Naida, and so did everyone back in Hyannis. Axis goes for the pin.

1!

2!

Naida West: Voxx breaks up the pin with a handful of Axis' hair. Did you see that? I think she just plucked a hair out of his head!

Hannibal Buress: I didn't see anything, Naida. I think you're making stuff up.

Naida West: It's hard to tell, but it certainly looked like it.

Axis gives Voxx a modified roundhouse kick that knocks her out of the ring.

Naida West: Awooga Kick, and Samantha Voxx is sent through the ropes, all the way outside! Axis has Castillo in his sights now… Superkick 291!

Axis goes for the pin.

1!

2!

Suddenly Axis grabs his calf and breaks the pin.

Naida West: What's going on?!? Axis looks hurt, but I don't know why.

Hannibal Buress: It's Samantha Voxx! She has some kind of a doll and she's twisting its leg!

Naida West: I told you she plucked a hair from Axis' head!

Hannibal Buress: I didn't see it before, but I believe you, now!

Samantha Voxx is standing on the ring apron twisting the leg of a voodoo doll what has Axis' hair wrapped around it. This gives Castillo an opening.

Naida West: Boot to the gut by Castillo, and he's got Axis up…

Castillo picks up Axis for his big Crucifix powerbomb. While he's got Axis up, and completely unbeknownst to him, Voxx comes off the top rope with a big missile dropkick!

Hannibal Buress: Samantha Voxx catches Axis with a missile dropkick right on the money, and straight into Cast Down!

Naida West: Voxx back at it!

Hannibal Buress: Big boot from Castillo!

QC shrugs playfully and places a boot on Axis’ chest as the referee counts.

1!

2!

3!

DING DING DING!

Naida West: Castillo pulls one out here tonight and he receives…whatever the surprise prize is!

Hannibal Buress: Another one of those coming later, but for now, the big man reigns supreme.

[Danny Powers (GM)]

The Segment With Several People!

---

Earlier in the day…

Our scene shows CruZe warming up on his robotic legs. He is taking his time with various motion exercises to get ready for the action coming later in the night when some random tech staff of WrestleVerse approaches him.

Techie: Special delivery for you!

At first, CruZe seems confused as he looks behind him then points to himself. The techie just nods before thrusting the note into CruZe's face. CruZe cautiously takes it and reads it.

CruZe: Meet me in the cark park in an hour. Who the hell is "me"…?

Unfortunately before CruZe can even ask the question, the techie has vanished. Undoubtedly duty calls. Without another word, CruZe just shrugs and goes back to exercising his legs.

Shortly afterward, in a gym, somewhere in Virginia, Amelia 'Wildheart' Winston exiting the women's locker room freshly showered post-workout and heading for the door.

Employee: Ms. Winston! Someone left a note for you.

Amelia glances to the young woman at the desk as she walks over, taking the sealed envelope with her name on it, opening it as she glances to the employee.

Amelia: Did you see who dropped it off?

Employee: No, sorry. I stepped away for a minute to refill a paper towel dispenser, came back and that was on the counter.

Amelia nods, pulling the letter out to read.

Amelia: Car park, one hour. Ugh, this better not be another stalker or something. And my friends wonder why I keep a Louisville Slugger in the trunk.

Shaking her head, Amelia leaves the gym as the shot fades.

As the two arrive at the spot designated by the letter, a mysterious figure emerges from the shadows. It’s very clearly Kyle Williams wearing a trench coat that’s way too big for him and a trilby. The sleeves come out past his arms and the bottom of the coat drags along the floor as he walks.

Kyle: Don't be afraid, I’m a friend. Though I suppose you’re wondering why I gathered you both here? It has come to my attention that there is a faction in Wrestleverse that poses a threat to all of us, and it may be that the only way we can overcome it is to forge a temporary truce.

Amelia: Oh for fuck sakes, Kyle! Next time you wanna meet, put your name on the note! I was worried some creep was gonna try and… well, be a creep!

She shifts, her body language relaxing a little, the end of the baseball bat thunking audibly against the pavement as she holds it one-handed at her side.

Amelia: Anyway, I'm guessing this is about Wolfslair and if they're gonna try to help Kane get one over on us?

CruZe seems still very suspicious of Williams despite Amelia apparently relaxing beside him.

CruZe: Uhh, I don't need any stolen watches; thanks though. And, you better be wearing something under that coat otherwise I'm out.

CruZe clearly seems to want to be somewhere else, anywhere else. As Kyle is about to begin talking to perhaps explain himself or maybe be a little more convincing to CruZe, The Cybernetic Assassin begins talking again.

CruZe: Whatever it is you're gonna say, you can save it. If y'all want a truce, have at it… between you two. As for me, I don't want or need either of you. I saw exactly how much either of you give a damn about anyone but yourselves during the Battle Royal a couple weeks back. I've already gone into business for myself so I've already got all the backup I need to put those puppies in their places. As far as that Fans' Choice Street Fight goes, buenas suerte to both of you. You're both gonna need it.

It's very clear that CruZe has no interest in continuing the conversation with the other two as he walks out of the scene leaving them to continue the discussion of a truce without him.

Kyle: (Shouting after CruZe) You’re genuinely pissed that 2 strangers refused to team up with people they don’t know or trust in a championship match?! I have 10 years experience of why that’s exactly a shitty idea!

Kyle gets frustrated that he got walked out on and throws his hat

Kyle: (Removing the trench coat ) I should probably tell you now that it’s me: Kyle. Kyle Williams. From work. Wrestleverse.

Amelia stares at him for a second before replying, absolutely deadpan.

Amelia: No. I had no idea. I am shocked.

Kyle: (Continuing his rant) Yeah they don’t do these in my size. But you know what? Fuck the turdinator over there. Who needs him. You know how many times I’ve been stabbed in the back by people who wanted a truce? And when you involve a championship you’re basically asking to be betrayed! Add to the fact that we all just met and we don’t know each other and…and…and I’m not selling this idea to you for the upcoming match at all now am I?

Amelia: It’s not your best sell, no. But listen, I’ve been thinking about this too and you do have a point. Wolfslair might get involved on Kane’s behalf and we’d be stupid not to be ready for it to happen. So here’s what I’m thinking: we go into this match with the realistic expectation of every person for themselves. I’m not promising to work with you to fight this whole thing as a team, like you said we know how that always ends. But if the rest of Wolfslair decides they wanna interject on their buddy’s behalf? We maim the bastards, chase ‘em off and then get back to going after the title, each of us on our own. Deal?

Amelia shifts the baseball bat from her right hand to her left before extending her right to Kyle to shake.

Kyle: (Shaking her hand firmly whilst smiling) Maim the bastards. Sounds like a plan to me.

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Surprise Prize Match

TJ Alexander vs. MaX-Files

---

As white smoke fills the lobby "Demi-Gods" by Lab rats and Slim J hits the PA System and a TJ Alexander steps into the white smoke, he kneels down for a few seconds before heading down to the ring, he gets to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope, he then leaps onto the turnbuckle and starts hyping himself up.

Naida West: Not the best showing last week in the battle royal, but a capable athlete nonetheless and with a mystery haul up for grabs, TJ Alexander has to be extra motivated right now, Hannibal!

Hannibal Buress: What if the surprise prize is just another surprise? What if we never find out? Danny, you’re messing with my emotions, man!

Superstition hits the PA, but is cut off almost immediately as Max has materialized in the ring. TJ starts screaming out, venting a clear mix of emotions.

DING DING DING!

MaX and TJ circle one another. They finally lock up and the match is underway. MaX locks in a headlock on TJ. TJ backs into the ropes and sends Max across the ring. MaX rebounds off the ropes and ducks a clothesline from TJ. TJ turns and is met with a Genetic Clone of Pele Kick. MaX stays on the offensive and begins the ground and pound. The referee is finally able to pull MaX off and allow TJ to get to his feet.

Naida West: There’s that urgency I was talking about before.

Hannibal Buress: That’s how you gotta do it if you wanna get things done around here.

Before the referee can keep the peace, TJ runs and grabs MaX around the waist and hits a beautiful overhead belly to belly Suplex. MaX grabs his back as TJ stays on him. TJ runs as MaX is beginning to get to his feet. He hits a shining wizard. He goes for a quick cover. The referee gets in position.

1..

No!

MaX kicks out quickly.

Naida West: TJ in complete control, looking really sharp here!

Both men make it to their feet as MaX offers a test of strength. TJ locks hands with MaX but MaX instead kicks him in the gut and hits the opposite rope. MaX attempts a running Rana but TJ tosses him to the apron. MaX gets to his feet but is met with a superkick from TJ. Max crumples to the ground outside as the referee begins his 10 count.

1!

2!

3!

4!

Hannibal Buress: TJ giving himself a perfect opportunity at a breather.

The ref goes to continue his count, but is stopped in the middle of five.

Naida West: Did…MaX just disappear?

Hannibal Buress: I don’t know where the Hell he went!

Naida West: Wait, look out! MaX rematerializing behind Alexander! MaX with the roll up from behind!

1!

2!

3!

DING DING DING!!

Hannibal Buress: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Naida West: Alexander was firmly in the driver’s seat and MaX pulled a MaX on him!

MaX raises his arms in disbelief as TJ immediately pops up to argue with the referee.

The crowd put aside their Pizza Hut and Taco Bell preference based differences and cheer in unison as Danny pops out from the back, mic in hand.

Danny Powers: I must admit, didn’t see that one coming. WEIRD way to win a match, but great work regardless! I’m sure you’re wondering what the surprise prize IS, so I’ll cut to the chase. MaX, when we go to Chicago for New Ground, you’ll get your wish. While the rest of us are watching your contemporaries TEAR it up at Soldier Field in front of tens of thousands of screaming Wrestleverse die hards, you will be on THE MOON!

Hannibal Buress: Oh shit!

Danny Powers: Where you will take on Quinn Castillo for the moonstone in the first ever PROJECT MOONSTONE MATCH!

The bossman’s voice cracks as the crowd goes berserk and MaX stands there smiling like a guy who just won a match with teleportation.

Naida West: Quinn Castillo, Max Hopper! Moonstone on the line! What a match that’s gonna be!

Hannibal Buress: He said ON the Moon, right?

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Georgia Edwards vs. Amber Lee

---

Back from a commercial about some orphan cream or something, we have Edwards and Lee in the ring with the end sound of a bell ringing through the establishment. Amber and Georgia circle each other in the ring.

Hannibal Buress: The height difference between these two is laughable wouldn’t you say?

Naida West: I don’t know if I’d call it laughable but that knife edged chop dropped Georgia to her knees.

Amber pulls Georgia to her feet and slingshots her across the ring into the opposite ring post.

Hannibal Buress: OH! That looked like it hurt.

Naida West: I think this is just the beginning of what we are about to see from these two.

Amber runs across the ring and jumps to the second rope where she starts to punch Georgia repeatedly until the referee warns her to back off. Jumping down, Amber glares at the referee and then turns her attention back to Georgia who jumps with a Thez press and Amber catches her in mid air!

Hannibal Buress: I can’t believe Amber just caught Georgia like that!

Naida West: The question is what is she going to do with her next?

Amber goes to drop Georgia but Georgia is able to change the maneuver into a DDT! She quickly scrambles to cover Amber’s body and hook the leg but Amber kicks out with authority at one.

Naida West: Just a count of one for that cover.

Hannibal Buress: One and a half if she was lucky…I think the only thing Georgia succeeded in was pissing off Amber.

Georgia rolled out of the ring as Amber stepped through the ropes and tried to take her legs out from under her but Amber was able to jump over the arm sweep and jumped down behind Georgia and pushed her into the ring post.

Hannibal Buress: Look at Georgia stumble! Will she be able to snap out of it before Amber goes for the cover?

Georgia shakes her head and spins around hitting Amber with a forearm shot to the chest and kicks to the shins. Amber reaches out for Georgia but she turns tail and runs behind the counter. Amber leaps over the counter swinging her legs as she does so. Georgia throws anything and everything she can find at Amber, taco shells, a piece of chicken which just barely misses Amber’s head and a set of metal tongs.

Naida West: Uh oh! Amber’s got Georgia cornered now…..

Hannibal Buress: Come on Georgia! Get outta there before something bad happens.

Amber looks at Georgia like she’s lost her mind and then as Georgia turns to run away again, Amber grabs a handful of nuggets and whips them at the retreating woman’s back. This stops Georgia for a moment and she spins around with a “WTF” look on her face as she grabs a hard plastic tray. Amber does a standing drop kick sending Georgia flying into one of the registers causing it to ding and pop open.

This had the crowd erupt into cheers. Amber leans over to pick up Georgia who sweeps Amber’s legs out from underneath her and sends her stumbling into the pop machine. Her hair covered in diet coke and root beer, Amber lets out a growl and quite literally grabs Georgia by the scruff of the neck and holds her head under the soda machine while she pushes all the different buttons and the ice cube button that causes Georgia to shriek.

Hannibal Buress: Oh my god! I can’t believe Amber just did that!

Naida West: Looks like she might not be finished yet!

The referee steps in to make sure Georgia is alright and Amber pulls her away from the soda machine and shoves her into the counter.

Naida West: That’s going to hurt in the morning!

Hannibal Buress: The two of them are going to be hurting in the morning after this!

Naida West: Come on Amber!

Amber charges at a doubled-over Georgia who quickly grabs a tray and hits Amber so hard as she comes charging at her that the tray breaks across her shoulders. Amber yells out again at the pain but keeps going and knocks Georgia back over the countertop with a clothesline and stumbles around the edge. Georgia stumbles back into the ring and Amber rolls under the bottom rope, Georgia spins around and lays into Amber with flying fists. Amber tries to push Georgia off of her and rolls over on top of her, both women fight for position as they scratch and claw at each other.

Hannibal Buress: Daaaamn! I ain’t never seen two women fight like this before.

Naida simply rolls her eyes.

One….

Two…

Georgia manages to kick out as Amber uses her size advantage and pins her shoulders to the map. She tries to roll out under the ropes again but Amber grabs her foot and Georgia attempts a kick to Amber’s head but Amber catches her foot and shakes her head no as she smiles and hits her with a clothesline.

One…

Two…

Three!

Naida West: There you have it ladies and gentlemen! Amber Lee has come out on top tonight.

Hannibal Buress: Daaamn, I can hardly wait to see Amber fight again! I’m looking forward to the damage she can do!

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Max and CruZe Segment

---

There is a crowd gathered in the parking lot of the combination Taco Bell/Pizza Hut where Eternal numero DOS will be held. Church Mouse is standing by for an interview with the one and only (presumably - other versions of him have been known to pop up from different times and dimensions) "MaX-Files" Max Hopper. His flying saucer is gently resting atop several cars in the background.

churchmouse: hello, max hopper, tonight you'll be facing tj alexander, one of the people you eliminated from the battle royal at eternal #1, for a special surprise prize. tj alexander recently went on record calling you a loser and a looney. what are your thoughts?

MaX-Files: I knew TJ Alexander would have the hump about me eliminating him. I guess I can't blame him, really, but he was well out of order questioning things I've done and calling me a fake!

MaX takes a minute to compose himself.

MaX-Files: But that's alright, because at the end of the day, I'm going to prevail and walk away with the special surprise prize!

churchmouse: how has your investigation of project moonstone been going?

MaX-Files: I recently went to the moon itself to find some answers, and talked to some friends I have at a base there. I can't reveal anything yet, but I'm hoping whatever this surprise prize is will prove useful in my ongoing investigation.

churchmouse: do you think tj alexander really has a vajazzle?

MaX-Files: I'm glad you asked! Because right now I have an important announcement to make… I've added to my investigative team! From now on, I've got not one but TWO members of the Xtradimensional Bureau of Investigation!

A hatch opens on the flying saucer, with a staircase protruding down the ground below. Lucha libre legend El Gringo Loco steps out of the craft. A clanking sound begins descending the stairs before we notice that walking behind El Gringo Loco is none other than CruZe! CruZe has a rather annoyed look on his face. He looks at Church Mouse who begins to speak to him.

churchmouse: cruze, what made-

CruZe simply blows her off.

CruZe: First of all, I can’t hear a damn word you say. Second of all, I can handle this myself. I have had it with pretty much this whole roster. The only one with any sort of perspective is Max Hopper. That’s why I agreed to be the Head of Cyber Technologies for the Xtradimensional Bureau of Investigation. I can at least trust Max. He may have his own motives for the things he does, but our interests remain similar. That’s why he agreed to help me two weeks ago. We worked as a team in the battle royal because we were both selfish enough to be selfless unlike those two scrubs Amelia Winston and Kyle Williams. That’s exactly why we had to watch Wolfslair run roughshod over the battle royal, but all of that comes to an end tonight when I walk out of this building as the Eternal Champion! But, the biggest damn thorn in my side is Axis can’t keep my name out of his damn mouth even when I’m not even booked against him. Axis, you should really focus on what’s in front of you. But, you want to get your ass kicked by me so damn bad, huh? Well, El Gringo Loco has some news I’m sure you’ll love, you stupid idiot!

churchmouse: max hopper will you go out with me?

EGL: I can announce that I have spoken to Danny Powers earlier today, and we have signed a match between CruZe and Axis for the upcoming pay-per-view! After CruZe wins the Eternal Championship in tonight's main event, he will put it on the line against Axis… BUT, if CruZe beats Axis, and trust me he will, then Axis must join the XBI!

CruZe: It’s like a dream come true, huh, Axis? You finally got what you wanted, but you’re gonna pay a very steep price for it in two weeks’ time when that dream officially becomes a waking nightmare.

Without another word to Church Mouse, the trio walks back up the stairs in turn before the stairs return into the ship. The flying saucer begins to hover higher before spinning then whirring away, disappearing from the scene, leaving Church Mouse looking into the camera by herself.

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Chase Andrews/Tommy Gunn vs. Scuffed God/Mattie Mayhem

---

Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace starts playing over the speaker as the announcer steps in the centre of the ring

Dunklin Frewbly: This following match is a tag match scheduled for One fall. Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 215lbs: Mr Murder Mattie Mayhem!

Mattie makes his way to the ring sneering at the crowd, soaking in the mixed reactions he’s getting, he climbs up onto the apron as Blueberry Faygo by Lil Mosey starts up. Scuffed God makes his way from behind the curtain.

Hannibal Buress: Dude’s looking good for someone whose arms came off recently.

Naida West: Good job we have some great doctors on hand here at wrestleverse.

Hannibal Buress: Hand jokes? Really?

Dunklin Frewbly: And his partner, weighing in at 210lbs Scuffed God!

The two meet in the ring and psych each other up.

The lights go out, and after a few tense moments, the letters "NEXT GEN" flash across the electronic menu screens, announcing the arrival of Chase Andrews. She emerges from behind the curtain as "Diary of Jane" begins in earnest. She is keeping a slightly serious face, even though it's obvious she loves the attention she is receiving.

Dunklin Frewbly: And there opponents, first off weighing in at 125lbs. Next Gen Chase Andrews!

She strides down to ringside with a trained model walk, allowing everyone to glimpse at the perceived perfection heading their way. She reaches out and slaps hands with those who reach out to her, betraying her supermodel façade in this respect. She climbs the ring steps, wipes her feet on the apron out of respect, and climbs through the ropes, giving everyone at ringside a delightful view of her lithe form. Once in the ring and the music starts to die down, she bounces in place like a boxer, occasionally throwing a punch or two as a warmup.

The drums of the Seminole War Chant kick in, and as Tommy Gunn emerges from behind the curtain, the sounds of the Tomahawk Chop can be heard through the loudspeakers. He engages in one round of the Chop, before he signals for the music to cut, right as the opening strains of “Hero” by Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott kicks into full gear.

Dunklin Frewbly: And her Partner, at 227lbs, The Machine, Tommy Gunn!

Tommy high fives his way down the ramp to ringside, where he starts up another round of Tomahawk Chops, smiling from ear to ear. He climbs into the ring, begins stretching, and waits for the bell.

DING DING DING!

Hannibal Buress: Looks like we got Tommy and Mayhem starting things off here.

Gunn and Mattie lock up in test of strength before Mattie kicks him directly in the gut. He tries to throw him against the ropes but Tommy reverses it and hits a dropkick on the rebound.

Nadia West: Great height on that dropkick from Tommy Gunn!

Tommy Gunn picks up Mattie and immediately hits a neckbreaker before he can regain his senses.

Hannibal Buress: Ouch. Not a great start for Mr. Murder here.

Gunn mounts Mattie and starts to unload on him with some hard punches and elbows to the head.

Naida West: Tommy Gunn unleashing some fury here from the get go on Mattie!

Hannibal Buress: He’s not giving him a chance over here, Mattie is up again then back down hard with a snap suplex!

Tommy Gunn increases the pressure on his opponent, stomping away at him without giving him a chance to fight back. He picks him up and leads Mattie over to his corner to make the tag.

Naida West: Here comes Chase Andrews, she’s a bit rough round the edges but seems to be improving with each passing week.

The two stand side by side and lift Mattie over their heads In a double vertical suplex.

Hannibal Buress: Scuffed god wants in this match bad, Matties taking a lot of punishment already!

As Tommy gets back onto the Apron, Chase grabs Mattie and points to the crowd.

Naida West: She’s signalling for something here Hannibal, big move coming?

Hannibal Buress: She’s going to want to hurry up with whatever it is.

She wraps her arms round Mattie looking to go for the Krushing Blow but Mattie rips free and lands a big right hand.

Hannibal Buress: Far too soon to go for that!

Naida West: Rookie mistake from Chase there, now Mattie is on the attack.

Mattie drapes chase over his shoulder and runs from one corner of the ring to the other hitting a running powerslam, then picks her up and runs back hitting a second.

Naida West: Ouch! Two consecutive running powerslams there, that can’t feel good.

Hannibal Buress: Mattie Has the clear size and weight advantage here Nadia, he’s keeping her grounded and making sure she can’t pick up any speed.

Mattie whips Chase into his corner and makes the tag to Scuffed God.

Hannibal Buress: Tag made, here comes Scuffed God.

Mattie pulls chase back and whips her into Scuffed God, who isn’t paying any attention so the two just end up colliding.

Naida West: Bit of a miscommunication from that team there.

Hannibal Buress: You sure that wasn’t a move? Looked like it hurt to me.

Mattie is visibly annoyed at Scuffed God as he makes his way to the apron. Scuffed god and chase both get to their feet slowly before alternating hard strikes against each other. Chase ends up getting the upper hand as she ducks under Scuffed Gods strike, positions herself behind him and hits a big german suplex.

Hannibal Buress: Now we’re talking.

Naida West: Big move from Chase, needs to follow up now!

Hannibal Buress: She’s climbing to the top rope! Oh huge diving elbow there! Shes going for the pin!

One……Two….

Naida West: Scuffed god kicks out of that at two!

Chase Andrews picks up Scuffed god and kicks him in the gut, twisting his body round and hitting a neckbreaker of her own.

Hannibal Buress: Looks like she’s been watching her partner there!

Chase places Scuffed Gods head underneath her arm and makes her way to her corner, before she can make the tag however he lifts her up and lands a back body drop.

Naida West: Scuffed God getting back into this thing!

Scuffed God picks Chase up off the ground but before he can do anything else, she leaps up and hits a hurricanrana

Hannibal Buress: Woah did you see the height on that jump!

Chase and Scuffed God both make it to their feet so she tries for another hurricanrana, this time however Scuffed God grabs her and hits a sitting powerbomb, both competitors collapse in the middle of the ring.

Naida West: Counter there from Scuffed God! Just when he needed it!

Hannibal Buress: Both competitors need to make a tag and fast!

Chase and Scuffed God slowly crawl towards their corners, they both manage to leap towards their partners outstretched arms and make the tag.

Hannibal Buress: Tag made!

Naida West: Tags made! Now it’s Mattie and Gunn again!

As their partners roll out the ring, Gunn and Mattie rush towards each other and send fists flying. Mattie whips Gunn into the corner and runs directly after him, he goes for the clothesline but Gunns leg comes flying up.

Hannibal Buress: Boot to the face! Gunn back in control!

Gunn not letting up hits a running bulldog on Mattie and goes for a pin.

One….Two…

Naida West: That’s not enough to put Mr.Murder Mattie Mahem down.

Hannibal Buress: Looks like that’s why Tommy is heading to the top rope, could we see that 450 splash of his!

Naida West: No! Up jumps Scuffed God to push him off the turnbuckle, now he’s getting on the turnbuckle himself!

Hannibal Buress: He’s not the legal man, ref do something!

Naida West: He points into the crowd, looks like it’s top off time!

Hannibal Buress: He’s still pointing into the crowd…

Naida West: He’s climbing off the turnbuckle?

Hannibal Buress: Now he’s wandering off to where he pointed, the hell is this guy up to?

Naida West: The counter, he was pointing to the counter. Now he’s ordering a taco.

An extremely irate looking Mattie starts screaming at Scuffed God to get back into the match before he turns around straight into Gunn who lifts him up into a flapjack.

Naida West: Chase is back in the ring as Gunn is going for the flapjack.

Hannibal Buress: Chase with the double knee facebuster as he’s on the way down! What a move!

Naida West: Gunn going for the pin now!

One…Two…Three!!!

Dunklin Frewbly: Here are your winners, Tommy Gunn and Chase Andrews!

Chase and Tommy celebrate in the ring as Mattie rolls out and Scuffed God is seen enjoying a Taco and margarita.

[Danny Powers (GM)]

Main Event

Eternal Championship

Fans Choice Street Fight

Lachlan Kane vs. CruZe vs. Amelia Winston vs. Kyle Williams

---

All like fifty of the fans in attendance are buzzing as Dunklin Frewbly makes his way out to the ringside area while “Chunky” by Bruno Mars plays through the establishment. Dunklin flexes to the crowd as he rolls in and stands on the turnbuckle like that alcoholic guy who beat up his wife a time or two (I think?) did in another company somewhere. He calls for a drink and a pair of large Baja Blasts fly through the air. He smacks the cups together and the lids fly off as he pours the S tier Mt. Dew variant down his throat and shirt before taking what’s left and flinging it around the crowd.

Hannibal Buress: Dunklin is really out here like that. Okay, I see you, big man.

Naida West: Big night with a big time main event. What’s not to love?

Dunklin Frewbly: The following is a Fans Choice Street Fight scheduled for ONE FALLLLLLL and it is for the Eternal CHAMPIONSHIP!

The lights dim as the whine of a guitar, soon accompanied by rolling drumming until a crescendo and a halt. Two big pops of pyro blast off (Idk how they fit this in the restaurant either and I know, does seem like a safety concern, huh?) on either side of the stage and then the song kicks back in as Amelia Winston bursts out through the entrance and into a spotlight in her black and yellow wrestling attire, the crowd roaring in approval, ‘Wildheart’ roaring right back. She cuts back and forth across the stage at the top of the ramp, high fiving and fist bumping fans in the front row before starting down to the ring as the lyrics begin, the spotlight following her.

"The future’s under fire

The past is gaining ground

A continuous cold war between

My home and my hometown"

She continues to give fives and bumps on her way around the dining area, clearly feeding off the excitement of the crowd, firing herself up as they fire her up.

"I was destined to die dreaming

When one day, my best friend

With passion and pure provocation

Summoned me and said"

She pauses at the base of the ramp, staring into the ring, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet as though the excitement and adrenaline are too much for her to simply stand still.

“You can’t condemn your love

To linger here and die

Can’t leave your dreams to chance

Or to a spirit in the sky

May your heart always be ardent

Your conscience always clear

And succumb to the city and surrender, baby

I’ll be waiting here”

She breaks into a sprint, running the last five feet or so to the ring before leaping to the apron, singing along with the chorus as she leans back against the ropes, both arms draped over the top, a few fans who know the words singing along with her.

"And it got me all fired up

To go far away

And make some ears ring from the sound of my singing, baby

(Oh oh, oh oh)

And it got me all fired up

To go far away

And make some ears ring from the sound of my singing, baby

(Oh oh, oh oh)

So I left my home

And all I had

I used to be good but now I’m bad"

Amelia backflips over the top rope into the ring, doing a quick spin before coming to a stop, staring down her opponent with a grin as the song fades out and the lights come back up, ready for the fight.

Hannibal Buress: She showed a bit of desperation in the moment last week, but this is someone who loves pure competition more than anything else.

The ominous beginning of “Seven Nation Army(Glitch Mob Remix)” blares out across the joint as the lights dim. Lasers suddenly kick on as the music really takes off. The majority of the crowd begins booing and jeering as “The Cybernetic One” CruZe steps out onto the entrance stage. There is, however, a small section of like three guys and someone who I think is just waiting on their food who make themselves known that are cheering for him.

CruZe talks some smack to a few of the fans as he makes his wayaround the ring. Once he’s about halfway through, he breaks into a sprint the somersaults through the ropes and rolls up to his feet in the middle of the ring while throwing his arms up into the air to a massive negative reaction from the crowd except for his small cheering section.

Naida West: Obviously, the story out of last week was all of these competitors really showing out and this match is another chance to see what that second opportunity at gold can bring out of them.

The lights get dark as two green spotlights begin to travel over the crowd, a loading bar appears on screen as Helix Nebula by Anamanaguchi starts. Once the intro is over, the music kicks in and the loading bar is full, Kyle walks out to the top of the ramp with his jacket on and hood up. He looks over the crowd and smirks to himself then makes his way towards the ring, his eyes squarely focused on the ring itself. He effortlessly slides under the bottom rope and picks himself up, making his way to the corner and stretching out his arms and legs, readying himself for the coming battle.

Hannibal Buress: This man making it out of that whole thing with the cops this week might rival SG’s whole thing last week.

As the lights in Pizza Hut and the lights in Taco Bell cut to black, the speakers come to life with the sound of "Demon" by Savage Hands. The lights begin to flash in an array of white and red as smoke fills the main lobby. Strolling out to an overwhelming chorus of cheers, Lachlan Kane smiles out at the crowd and throws a couple of phantom punches while standing on top of the front counter before making his way down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. He runs up the steel steps and bounces against the ropes on the outside of the ring on the apron's edge before stepping through the ropes into the center of the ring. He grins again before throwing his hands up to the deafening roar of the crowd. As his music fades away, he takes off his jacket and hands it off to the ring announcer and throws a few more punches to ready himself.

Naida West: For a lot of the Wrestleverse fans, last week was their first taste of what a lot of these guys can do, but in a battle royal you’re still a bit limited in that preview. This has a shot at being a real showcase.

Hannibal Buress: We hear about the emphasis on individual styles being a focal point in this company, but I saw they let in a dude with a cactus. So, that’s weird.

Naida West: The fans are littering the ringside area with everything under the sun now and it looks like it is time!

DING DING DING!!

Out the gate, the four competitors step from side to side in a circling motion, careful to not give up the edge. As Kane goes to step forward, Amelia and Kyle spin away quickly, paranoid about potential Wolfslair company. As they do so, Kane takes advantage and a brawl begins between the three. Meanwhile, CruZe dips under and out, rummaging through what looks like a small junkyard within the building.

Hannibal Buress: Uppercuts to both Winston and Williams and now Kane is off the ropes, through the ropes..

Naida West: OUCH DAMN! CruZe smashing a bottle of Frank’s over the head of Lachlan Kane!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Hannibal Buress: I told y’all this wouldn’t be an actual match. One spot in and we are living up to the name.

Naida West: Falls count anywhere applies! Here’s CruZe with the cover!

1!

2-

Hannibal Buress: SPRINGBOARD SENTON! KYLE WILLIAMS DROPS BACKFIRST! GODDAMN!

Naida West: That’s innovation right there!

Hannibal Buress: Pin attempt from Williams on CruZe!

1!

2!

Naida West: CruZe with the kickout just after two, but if we could get a dozen replays of that move right there, that would be great!

Williams pushes himself up as a smiling Winston rolls out and rounds the corner. In a panic, he grabs a Mexican pizza from a shouting fan.

Hannibal Buress: Pizza to the face, but Winston ducks it!

Naida West: Williams connects with the pizza to the ref’s face instead!

Williams visibly cringes and becomes mildly apologetic as the ref wipes the contents off through visible frustration.

Hannibal Buress: Roll up from Winston!

1!

2-

Both competitors roll through and squint their eyes like a Philip J. Fry meme as they squat down and rummage through the mess. Winston retrieves a can of soup while Williams comes up with a can opener.

Naida West: What are the chances?

Hannibal Buress: Seems kinda rude to bring a can of soup in a place where they sell all these other foods.

They give each other a confused look and pass the items back to the crowd.

Hannibal Buress: Soup is for the people! It’s the people’s soup!

Both competitors smile and offer out a handshake as they go for a classic tie up.

Naida West: Little test of strength here.

Kane gets back to wobbled feet and brandishes a Sega Saturn which he cracks over Williams' back and then Winston’s head before smashing it down on the ground between both competitors.

Hannibal Buress: Good response from Kane who got off to a rocky start there thanks to CruZe, but this man is bleeding his ass off right now.

Naida West: Wincing through the pain, but this is what you have to do in a match like this. Suck it up and figure out a way to get back in there, because it’s only going to get worse from here on out!

CruZe is back to his feet as well and charges at Kane, but runs shoulder first into the ring post. Kane flashes his own devilish grin and reaches for a sack of “mystery” contents (but it’s wrestling so we all know it’s thumbtacks).

Hannibal Buress: Kane taking that sack into the ring, CruZe slowly following after him.

Kane opens up the bag and looks inside, audibly chuckling as he gives it a playful shake before turning it upside down.

Naida West: Those aren’t thumbtacks!

Hannibal Buress: It’s those little pizza tables you put on the pizza so the top of the box doesn’t touch it!

Naida West: We used to play Barbies with those, actually.

Hannibal Buress: CruZe rolling in, big lariat.

Naida West: Kane ducks it and it’s both men off the ropes.

Hannibal Buress: Double lariat sends both men onto the pizza tables!

The two recoil and cry out in pain, visibly seizing up. Winston rolls into the ring and seizes the opportunity.

Naida West: Winston hooking CruZe’s leg!

1!

2!

Hannibal Buress: Another kickout in this match, but you can tell it’s starting to wear on them quick.

Winston shakes her head in frustration while Williams starts throwing the contents of ringside into the ring itself. Kebab Skewers, a cheese grater, a large roll of barbed wire, a pizza cutter, a small lamp, a salt shaker, a cup of ice, and some light tubes are sent into the ring while the crowd goes berserk for the possible outcomes. Kyle looks down once more and pulls a big ass roll of bubble wrap out and shrugs as he tucks it under his arm and slides into the ring.

Naida West: I’m…intrigued? I think?

The other three competitors rise to their feet and look towards Williams, pointing and questioning the intent loudly. Williams holds his opposite hand out and shouts back before pressing some of it between his finger to pop it. He offers it to CruZe on his right who takes the offer and pops a little bit as well. CruZe offers the now unraveling roll to Amelia who accepts as well.

Hannibal Buress: Spinning elbow from Kane!

Naida West: Amelia catches him with the bubble wrap! Submission with the bubble wrap! Excellent counter!

Hannibal Buress: Superkick from CruZe to break it up, but Winston shoves Kane into him!

Naida West: Belly to belly! CruZe drops Kane into those light tubes!

Hannibal Buress: CruZe stays on him!

1!

2!

Naida West: WILLIAMS WITH THE LAMP ACROSS THE HEAD OF CRUZE!

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! (CLAP X5) THIS IS AWESOME! (CLAP X5)

Hannibal Buress: Imma be honest with you. I don’t know if any of these four can even make it to New Ground.

Williams drops to a knee to catch his breath as Winston takes a quick lunge forward, gripping the handle of the cheese grater and driving it into the head of Kyle Williams.

Naida West: Williams goes down, but Winston recognizes the moment! It’s time to play dirty!

She lifts Kyle up by the hair and lifts the grater in the air to a big ol’ popperino and cheese pizza reaction from the motherfucking crowd before dragging it across his forehead.

Hannibal Buress: God DAMN, man!

Naida West: Had a gut feeling there’d be a lot of blood in this match and Kyle Williams is POURING it out now! Williams and Winston are two who have gotten along pretty well, but all is fair in love and war!

The crowd continues to cheer as Winston throws the grater aside and gingerly makes her way back to the mess that Kyle tossed around the canvas.

Hannibal Buress: Oh shit! She got the salt shaker!

Naida West: She’s taken the whole damn cap off!

Winston pours the salt into the palm of her hand and motions for Williams to get up. He barely manages and spins towards her.

Hannibal Buress: Williams blows it right into her eyes!

Naida West: Counters on counters, weapons on weapons! This is Wrestleverse at its finest!

Williams pivots once more, finding himself standing face to face with a bloodied Kane brandishing a pillow case through gritted teeth.

Hannibal Buress: Both men are drenched in their own blood right now and Williams is laughing at Kane now!

Williams playfully sticks his chin out and taps for a shot. Kane pulls back and unloads with it.

Naida West: WILLIAMS GOES DOWN! WILLIAMS OUT COLD!

Kane smirks and dumps it out, bricks falling to the mat as he does.

Hannibal Buress: That’s just smart offense, getting in your opponents’ head like that and letting them give you that upperhand on a silver platter.

Naida West: Cover from Kane! This is it!

1!

2!

3!

Hannibal Buress: CRUZE KEEPS THIS ONE ALIVE!

Naida West: AT THE LAST TENTH OF A SECOND, CRUZE MAKES THE SAVE!

Hannibal Buress: How the Hell does this even end?!

Amelia finishes wiping the salt from her eyes and calls for more from the crowd.

Naida West: Front row fan tossing Amelia the chair and CruZe hit with a quick shot to the head!

Hannibal Buress: Shot to the head of Kane as well!

Amelia raises it in the air with one arm and the crowd responds by…throwing all of the chairs over the rope into the ring.

Naida West: Steel chair rain in the restaurant! This crowd has lost their mind!

Once the barrage comes to a stop, Winston begins to pile up the chairs onto each other.

Hannibal Buress: She’s plotting.

Amelia drags Williams, Kane, and CruZe on top of each other in said order before tossing more chairs on top.

Naida West: What on Earth is she thinking?

Winston bangs her chair against the mat and begins to climb the turnbuckle with it still in hand she turns her back on the field and takes a deep breath as she clutches the chair against her front.

Hannibal Buress: High risk, high reward. This is how legends are made!

Naida West: MOOOOOOONSAULT!

Hannibal Buress: SHE HITS IT!

Crowd: YES! YES! YES! YES! (One random boomer says “SI!” instead cause he thinks this event is an authentic Mexican experience or some shit)

Winston recoils but scrambles to take advantage by shoving chairs off and dragging CruZe off the top.

Naida West: PEPPER SPRAY! PEPPER SPRAY TO WINSTON!

Hannibal Buress: She’s blinded again! Winston rolls out of the ring!

Naida West: Pin scramble by CruZe! He hooks Kyle’s leg!

1!

2!

3!

Hannibal Buress: HOLY SHIT!

Naida West: WHAT DID WE JUST WITNESS?!

DING DING DING!

Dunklin Frewbly: The winner of this match and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Eternal CHAM-PI-ON…CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZE!

Hannibal Buress: CRUZE IS CHAMPION!

Naida West: It wasn’t pretty, but CruZe got it done tonight!

Unable to stand up, CruZe crawls to the corner and hoists himself purely with arm strength. He slouches against the corner as the ref hands him the belt.

Hannibal Buress: WINSTON BACK IN THE RING! WINSTON LAYING INTO CRUZE!

Naida West: MAX HOPPER! MAX HOPPER IS HERE!

Hannibal Buress: Max comes to CruZe’s aid! Max and Winston coming to blows!

The crowd pops as Kyle gets to his feet and bangs a chair across the back of Max Hopper.

DING DING DING!

Naida West: This match is over and now the ref is just trying to gain control back!

Pop continues as two more rush from the back into the ring.

Hannibal Buress: GUNN AND ANDREWS ARE HERE!

Naida West: AND HERE COMES KERBEROS! KERBEROS BACKING UP HIS BOY LACHLAN KANE! THIS PLACE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

Danny Powers: WAIT WAIT WAIT! HOLD UP!

The voice of the brain behind Wrestleverse cuts off the chaos as Danny emerges ringside.

Danny Powers: I’m gonna make this real simple for all of you! Way I see it, there’s only one way to settle this! In the main event of New Ground it will be Gunn and Andrews!

Pop.

Danny Powers: Versus Winston and Williams!

Pop pop.

Danny Powers: Versus Wolfslair!

Pop pop pop.

Danny Powers: For the Parallel Championship!

Pops all around.

Danny Powers: Oh, and I’m not done there! We’re gonna keep this same energy! At New Ground, we take it to the next level. The six of you will be competing..in a DESKS, LIFTS, AND STOOLS MATCH!

Pop of the night, cause somehow, the crowd knows what he’s talking about?

Danny Power: GOOD LUCK!

He throws his mic down and turns his back on the carnage.

Hannibal Buress: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Naida West: Huge announcement from the GM and that’s all the time we have! Thank you for joining us and we’ll see you in Chicago! Goodnight!